My only talent is breathing
Sometimes I can’t even do that right.
THE LITTLE KID NEXT DOOR JSUT OPENED HIS WINDOW AND YELLED “WHAT IS 27 PLUS 4” AND I YELLED “IT’S 31” AND HE SAID “THANK YOU GOD LADY” IM LAUGIHNG
boys are so cute and adorable when they are sleepy and they yawn and when their hair is a mess and when they run their fingers through their hair and when they smell nice and when they smile and when they breathe
attempting to hide your desperate need for breath after a short flight of stairs
if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic
when the person who volunteers to read is completely illiterate